It doesn’t matter how much time we spend cleaning the house everyday (let’s be honest, sometimes, not even the dishes end up in the sink), there will always be more to do. The thing is, there just aren’t enough hours in the day sometimes. The choas of raising kids is unavoidable. The stress of trying to keep your home spotless…well, that one is avoidable, and one mom has quite an inspiring opinion on that part. She focuses on what is most important about being a mom, and the internet agrees.
This morning as I was texting a friend to finalize plans for a coffee and play date, I found myself typing these words “Oh, and don’t mind my house. It’s a disaster.” Before I pressed send I thought. No. I’m not sending that.
Of course I wanted to. I wanted to justify why my kitchen is a disaster. Why there is ketchup on my white leather couch. Why my kid is wearing a 18-24month old shirt, and he’s almost 4. Why I will likely still have the remnants of yesterday’s makeup on. Why I likely won’t brush my teeth before she gets here. Why my floors are caked with toddler snacks. Why it smells like an old gym shoe up in here. Why I only have milk for her coffee, and not cream, because we only drink milk in our coffee…. The list goes on and on.
When I look around my home. When I look at myself and my child. When I examine all of the things in my life that I deem to be not “right” at every moment of every day, I do myself and others a disservice.
I rob myself of authentic friendships. I put undue stress on myself. I put unrealistic expectations on my child. I wait for a time that will never come, when I have it all together, so that then I can _________. Fill in the blank with whatever you are telling yourself you can’t have or do, because something is holding you back.
People aren’t asking or requiring perfection from you as a friend. They are looking for authentic, and real women that can open the doors to their home, and their arms to friendship, proclaiming: “my house is what it is, and I am who I am, and we are who we are, but come on in, because we desire to know YOU more.”
What a breath of fresh air it would be, if you walked into a place, that was just as crazy as yours, and were able to let out a sigh of relief, because, finally you can say: “Ahhhh. You too?”
C.S Lewis says that’s where true friendship begins.
Keep going, mamas. You are amazing.
And she’s right. Who we are as people matters so much more than what our house looks like or what we are wearing that day. It doesn’t matter if the floors are swept or the toys from play time are still piled on the couches. The stress from making your home “perfect” will end up taking its toll on everyone. And if we’re honest, it’ll just be a mess by the time dinner is over anyway. There are just not enough hours in the day! Focus on the important things, and the rest will just have to wait!