To most of us, marriage is a commitment to one person. Through everything, that person that you have married is supposed to be reliable. While you can go to them with problems or concerns, they can come to you with doubts and fears. Marriage is a way to get through life and all of its challenges – supposedly to reassure you that no matter what happens, there will always be someone else there to support you…but when you start to doubt that commitment, misunderstandings can happen much too easily!
I once wondered why dad was spending so much time away from home when he was off work. He always used to be home at the same time every day after work let out. Aside from the occasional errand, it was expected that dad would walk through the door at 6:15pm every night just in time for supper.
But then he started to come home later and later. 9:30pm would roll by, and then 10pm with no explanation other than “I had to stay later.”
Then one day I noticed his truck parked on a more rural road not far from a friend’s house around 8pm. I feared the worst but I searched around until I finally found out where he had been spending all of his time. What I discovered was that he was back there in a “wood mill” type place, using a wood-splitter machine to cut logs into different sizes.
He made me promise not to tell mom that he was earning extra money doing this part-time work to save up money to take her on an anniversary trip she had dreamed of, but which he couldn’t afford on the salary from his regular job.
I gave him a BIG hug, and kept that secret. And what a trip they had – I don’t think I had ever seen mom so happy!
Families who don’t keep secrets obviously have a harder time surprising the others in their life. When you start keeping a secret after decades of telling each other everything, even the smallest lie can make it harder to move on from. Luckily, their marriage was so strong that she could forgive him for his shady behavior! She even got to go on her dream vacation! What could be better? Well, probably telling her that he had gotten a second job instead of disappearing for hours every night…
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