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Last Night’s Fight WAS His Fault…But He’s Not So Sure About The REST Of It! Take (Or Don’t Take) This Guy’s Hilarious Advice For The Perfect Marriage!

Hundreds of thousands of books and seminars are out there claiming to have all of the answers for life, love, and relationships. That elusive “perfect marriage” seems like an impossible goal sometimes – leading us all to do some pretty crazy things in pursuit of this dream. The real secret is that nobody has the answers. Methods that work for one couple might end in disaster for another. Some claim that “space” is the key to a happy marriage. Some claim that doing everything together is the true reason for their success. Do you know who has some pretty great advice?

Red Skelton. If you haven’t had the pleasure of experiencing the comedic styling of this American legend, here’s just a snapshot of his outrageous humor! This is “The Perfect Marriage,” according to a guy who should know – he was married several times!

  • Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.
  • We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California , and mine is in Texas..
  • I take my wife everywhere….but she keeps finding her way back.
  • I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. ‘Somewhere I haven’t been in a long time!’ she said. So I suggested the kitchen.
  • We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
  • She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. She said ‘There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!’ So I bought her an electric chair.
  • My wife told me the car wasn’t running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was. She told me, ‘In the lake.’
  • She got a mud pack, and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.
  • She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, ‘Am I too late for the garbage?’ The driver said, ‘No, jump in!’
  • Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
  • I married Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was Always.
  • I haven’t spoken to my wife in 18 months I don’t like to interrupt her.
  • The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, ‘What’s on the TV?’ I said, ‘Dust!’

Alright…so maybe these aren’t the best pieces of advice, but they made me chuckle! I’m sure we’ve all thought about some of these options after an argument or disagreement, but never very seriously! I needed a good laugh today! Funny stuff.

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