As a new mom, I’m overwhelmed. I’m stressed. I’m tired. Yet, I’m overjoyed at the same time because I have the pudgiest, cutest, cuddly baby boy to call my own. HOWEVER, things are not always rainbows and sunshine in my household. A baby may bring a ton of joy to a couple, but I’m going to be honest-they also bring a good amount of misery. Here are four things you know you think if you are a mother but would never dare say (well, for me; until now..).
- Go the F*** to Sleep
I believe there is actually a children’s book titled this. Obviously, the book is geared toward parents. Regardless, the author is spot on. We all think it, but we all don’t say it. It’s those nights when you’re rocking the baby after their bottle or rubbing their face or back in the crib (because ALL the books say that they should self-soothe, right?), or it’s the tenth time you’ve returned your toddler to bed when they’ve escaped and made their way back in to the living room when we want to utter those five little words. True story.
- I’m So Embarrassed
As moms, we have to grin and bear it at all times. But let’s face it. There are times when you get so embarrassed by your children. Whether they fart in public, pee their pants, swear like a sailor in the checkout line, or verbally mouth off to the elderly; you don’t want to keep calm. You don’t want to lead by example. You want to scream at them and tell them that you are simply so embarrassed by their actions and they need to stop it. Stop it now!
- I Hate You Too
My son is only 3 months old but I’m dreading the day he can talk. All my girlfriends tell me the first time you hear your child say their real word, your heart will melt. But, not mine. That means he’s just one day closer to talking back to me (it’s inevitable) and telling me he hates me (I think we’ve all said those words out of rage to our parents before at least once in our lives). I can only imagine how mothers feel in that moment when their child looks them in the eye after you’ve carried them for nine months, went through a grueling labor, and surrendered to sleep for the first year of their life as they utter those words to you. It’s hard to remember that you are the adult because of how badly you also want to say those words back to your child in that very moment.
- You Look Awful
Think back to your childhood. It was filled with great memories hopefully. One of the big memories I have of my school days was getting my yearly picture taken. I was so excited to bring home my picture packet to show my parents because they made such a fuss over me and put my pic in a big, wooden frame for everyone to see in our living room. Looking back, I thought my parents were being nice. But, they were big, fat, liars. I looked absolutely awful in nearly half of my elementary pictures. AWFUL! My parents probably so badly wanted to laugh and tell me I looked awful, but they didn’t. I’m not sure if I should thank them or hold a grudge to this very day.
Something should never be said. This is true. But, that doesn’t mean we don’t think them. If you’ve ever wanted to say one (or all) of these phrases, you are not alone!
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