Too many times to count, our kids have come up with some of the craziest things to say to us! When parents start talking about their kids, the stories seem to flow like a waterfall. There’s a never-ending amount of clever, hilarious, and sometimes downright embarrassing stories to tell, and half of the time they seem too outrageous to be true! My youngest thought that if I couldn’t see her eyes, she was invisible. Where did that come from?! These parents have stories that are just too funny!
- My daughter got in trouble in kindergarten for selling pencils to other kids. She was charging kids a quarter, the school charged 50 cents. I was pretty impressed.
- My nine year old son called me into his room because he had a monster in his closet. I tell him he’s too old for that kind of thing and to go back to sleep. He pleads with me to check. I open the door and turn on the light, staring back at me is some scruffy looking thing with angry eyes and I scream. It was a mirror. I’m trying to see if I’m having a heart attack and he’s laughing. I’m proud of his cleverness but considered if he were too old to be left on someone’s doorstep.
- My 3 year old dragged a chair from the lounge to the kitchen and climbed up to help herself to an ice cream from the freezer, I caught her in the act and was prepared to be angry until I realized that before getting herself one, she had taken 2 out for her little brother and sister, unwrapped them and sent them out to the balcony to eat so they wouldn’t make a mess. I decided she deserved the ice cream.
- One night my wife and I were having a discussion with our 10 yr old daughter about the importance of homework, education and her future. The subject came up because she was busted lying about her grades. I asked, “Don’t you want to grow up and be successful like me?” Her response was, “Mom doesn’t do anything and she’s got it pretty good.”
- My son’s teacher gives the kids small gifts for participation/helpful behavior in the class. She used blank slips of paper, and hands them to the kids to write their names on and put them in the ballot box. My son realized there were no special marking on the ballots and it was just standard lined paper so he started submitted his name many times a day.My son stuffed the weekly ballot box for classroom prizes from the teacher for two or three months.
Once she caught on to it, the teacher was upset about his dishonesty. I was impressed that a 6 year old outsmarted a 45 year old for weeks on end.
- My brother in law was lecturing his daughter about something and he was in an intense angry rant. She interrupted him in his yelling to ask “Daddy, can you lift a bear?”
- My son was 2 years old when he got his first pair of eyeglasses. At first he resisted wearing them until he realized he could see properly for the first time in his life.A few days into wearing his glasses, I brought home a 5 pound bag of individually wrapped chocolates that I was planning on taking to the office in a few days. He had gone upstairs to his toy room and he was being way too quiet for too long. I went up there and he was surrounded by wrappers, covered in chocolate. Half the bag was gone, and he was so proud of himself: “Mommy, I not need help to open them, so I not had to ask!” It was the first time he had been able to see where to pull to open the wrappers. I was so happy that he could finally see that I couldn’t be angry.
I had to tell him that he still needed to ask permission to take the candy, even if he didn’t need help opening it anymore. The punishment was his bellyache. Kid’s lactose intolerant.
- I was once play wrestling with my nephew and once the 3 year old had me “pinned” it turned to name calling such as “stupid face” and “dumb head” then my sister chimes in and says “don’t call names!” Then this boy looks at me and says “names”. Literally, he just called me names. The punk.
- When my daughter was 6, a boy in school was bullying her. He was confronting her one day, in front of his buddies, and said, “I bet you don’t have the nerve to kick me in the nuts.”She did.
- My son will scowl at me instead of doing what I told him to do. He thinks it’s a scary face. It’s more of an annoyed pout. And it’s adorable. But he can’t know that.
You are supposed to be “mad” at them when they outsmart a teacher or cheat to get what they want. But when they do it so adorably, it’s hard to be the bad guy and keep a straight face while dishing out punishments! No one told us that holding in our laughter would be such a huge part of parenting!
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