We’ve all heard horror stories about those dating websites and apps. They make it easy to see a snapshot of who someone is, and whether or not you would even be interested in getting to know them a little more. It can be hard to focus on a person’s achievements or personality when you are also judging them by the pictures that they post online. This man didn’t have very much hope when it came to his dates made online. He was 50-something, out-of-shape, and single. Sure, he had a stable job, but most people were turned off by his looks…until he met this woman and had the most heart-breaking 6 month journey of his LIFE!
My Tinder nightmare began on January 8th, 2014 when I started texting with a beautiful woman who I knew was out of my league.
I’m a 50ish Caucasian guy, out of shape, overweight, but otherwise stable and normal. She was a 30 year old Black woman, college educated, stunningly beautiful and very elegant and slender. Nonetheless, after a few days of texting I invited her to join me for dinner at a very nice restaurant downtown. To my dismay she actually accepted my invitation. I was waiting for her at the bar and when she walked in my jaw hit the floor. She was so beautiful I literally lost my breath for a moment.
She was taller than me in her heels and was wearing a beautiful short dress with the most amazing legs I had ever seen. She greeted me with a bright smile and a gentle hug and we were escorted to our table.
We had a very good date, the conversation flowed, and she seemed to have a good time as well. We decided to continue the date and went to a couple of bars for drinks. Finally she said it was time to go home and, since she had taken Uber earlier, I offered to give her a ride home and she quickly agreed. All this time I thought that, even though the date was fun, and comfortable, I assumed it would possibly lead to a friendship at best considering the obvious differences.
Well when we got to her place we talked for a few minutes more. I offered to walk her to her door but she declined. She then got out and walked around to my door. She leaned through the window and planted a very brief but sensual kiss on my lips.
My heart stopped! She then leaned back and smiled. I was able to stammer out an invitation to go out again and she accepted without hesitation. I was on cloud nine! I knew that this remarkable woman would have a profound affect on my life, it seemed pre-destined. Fast forward a couple of weeks, She and I had been seeing each other nearly every day and I was developing strong feelings already. But, something was wrong. I had a weird nagging sense that she was hiding something. Although she was being very affectionate , something just felt off. Then finally it happened.”
We were out at a bar together. It was a good time but she seemed distracted. As we were leaving she turned to me and said, in a serious tone, ‘We need to talk’. I thought, this is it, the differences between us are too much for her and I’m about to be friend zoned. But nothing prepared me for what came next. She asked me to just listen and not say anything, and I agreed.
She then started out by saying that she had developed strong feelings for me but there was something that I needed to know about her that might make me want to change my mind about pursuing a relationship. My mind was spinning and so many scenarios raced through my head. Is she married? Is she a criminal? Then I remembered a few day earlier when we were making out and I touched her breast lightly and realized that she had breast implants because it was quite hard. So I thought OMG, is she a transexual? But, as it turns out, she wasn’t but that would have been better than what came next.
She looked at me, and with a tear in her eye, she told me that she has stage 4 breast cancer. She was originally diagnosed 4 years earlier as stage 3 and had beaten it back into remission after having a double mastectomy along with radiation treatment and chemotherapy. Now it had returned as Stage 4 and she was to start chemo again in two weeks. I was floored! She then stated that she will understand if I wanted to turn and run and she wouldn’t think less of me for it.
My response was to re-iterate that I adored her. And I thought she was an amazing woman and if she wanted me to take this journey with her that I would be honored to do so. We kissed and just held each other for a while. Finally she said goodnight and went to her car to go home.
I cried all the way home. We had a full amazing year together. I had to go to Japan for work and she met me there in between chemo treatments. She never cried and was always elegant. I learned what the true definition of grace meant.
We lived a lifetime in 2014. She died 9 months ago, 15 months after we met. I am a much better man for having met her and shared in her struggle.
I love you and miss you so much, Genny!
He lived through the greatest love of his life in those short 6 months. He found love – true love – and a companion that he could have easily spent the rest of his life with. He met someone who saw past his appearance and loved him for the person that he had become. The tragedy is that they only had less than a year to be together…but the amount of love and happiness that they experienced is enough to make our hearts melt!
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