He wrote to the Tooth Fairy with a bold request: an increased payout of $5 per tooth due to inflation. The Tooth Fairy wasn’t having it, and forwarded his request to the Director at the Department of Dental Disturbances, Dee Kay. He was clearly not expecting such a business-like response, and isn’t sure how to feel.
To be honest, neither are we.
My name is Dee Kay. My associate Tooth Fairy told me about your letter and I have been assigned to your case. #092208-5.
We have removed our Plaques from the wall, going on 3 years Extraction Without Incident (EWI), in order ot focus and resolve your case. It look as though we need to Brush Up on our extraction skills, and the going rate for teeth.
One thing we do agree on and have taken into consideration, it was very bold of you to ask for more money. Since all your teeth have been cavity free we have decided to increase your Tooth Pay Out (TPO) by $1 for future extractions.
This is with the stipulation the tooth is cavity free. Should you place a cavity filled tooth under your pillow you will receive a bill to cover our costs of flight travel. We cannot take Cavity Filled Teeth (CFT) back with us. Our Central Tooth Officer (CTO), S. Cary Gums, would shut down the Department of Dental Disturbance (DDD) if we even attempted to bring a CFT back, and that would mean no TPO’s for children anywhere. I know you wouldn’t want to be the cause of that.
Thank you for reading our response to your letter. I am filing this case as closed.
Stay strong and brush on!
Dee Kay, Director of DDD”
People were quick to point out the issues with this entire thing, from the letter printed without a letter head, to the landscape format, and even to the unfolded paper that had clearly never been placed in an envelope.
Did these parents take it too far? Or just far enough? You can decide that for yourself!
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